“ALL RISE!!! Court is now in session. The honorable Bucket Hat King LJ tha Fiasco presiding. Please be seated and come to order”
Good morning to all of you. The BHK is upset he let Marshall cause him to have heart palpitations all of last week despite being reassured by 90% of CardNation there was nothing to worry about. My apologies to the court for my pessimism, I will do better. Nonetheless, I will now read my observations of the Marshall game.
- The BHK is aware that Marshall University is not the same as West Virginia University. From what i have heard and read it appears that Marshall fans were very welcoming and friendly. Still, this was a trip I refused to take (see opening statement for my reason)
- The BHK went from calm to pissed off upon seeing a sign making light of Teddy’s recent knee injury. I couldn’t care less about Marshall after that. Yeah, I know it was the students but everyone was a casualty of war at that point. Perhaps next time you will make better decisions when sign making. Enjoy the 59 points as you walk back to your dorm.
- It became apparent that once Marshall took the field they were trying to set a tone. That tone had settings of sportsmanship, jackass, punk, and goon. I try not to label any players based on their actions but one guy had two personal fouls in about 3 min of play. Both helmet to helmet, both cheap shots. CardNation was not amused……
- The BHK was not a fan of Marshall’s continuous late hits and pile on’s after the play was well over. In my opinion, it seemed that Marshall went from trying to win the game to trying to see which player they can hurt. Never book them again.
- Carter Blackburn and the Mr. Clean mascot should only call games in Pop Warner league. My lord!!! Still, not sure they are worse than Anastasia though (see FIU game in 2012)
- Speaking of Mr. Clean, aka Aaron Taylor from CBS Sports. I am gonna say this as nicely as the BHK can. MAY YOU NEVER CALL A LOUISVILLE GAME AGAIN. As a color commentator you have one job, play the sidekick and remain unbiased. FAIL!! The BHK believes in optimism but sweet Jesus this guy sucked. Marshall down 35-7 , Taylor suggest they are a few plays away from being in this game. Marshall secondary repeatedly torched, Taylor still gives them credit. Lamar has 5 TD’s at halftime, Taylor suggest Marshall defense causing him issues. I would really hate to be in a doctor’s office with Taylor as my physician. “Okay BHK, you have six days to live but next month the prognosis should be better”. Just take the next couple of plays off Aaron……
- Carter Blackburn will now be referred to as Cotton McKnight
- I am sure we have all seen the pic circulating that shows a junior slapd*** walking up and down the aisle of the Louisville section taunting the Louisville crowd. This is typical slapd*** behavior. For one, the Lexington Slappies played at the same time as the Cards so instead of rooting for that debacle you chose to spend your parents hard earned money to make a sign where you misspelled words. Clearly you should focus on winning a spelling bee and not winning over the hearts of BBN. The BHK would have took one for the away team and tripped you. Am I proud to admit that? No. Would it have been necessary? Yes. Slapd***’s gonna Slapd***.
- I don’t think the offensive line had a bad game, but I do think they took a half to settle down. Plus, Marshall was blitzing every play so this was merely a case of sending more than the Cards could block. Everyone relax
- It was evident Bobby instructed Lamar to stay in the pocket and fight the urge to run. I would say it paid off. How funny is that ACL sign now?? I’ll wait……
- Prayers and well wishes to London Iakopo who went down with a knee injury during the game. Also, speedy recovery to Shaq Wiggins and Traveon Samuel.
- I have complete faith in the Big 4 on defense. Kelsey, Fields, Brown, and Harvey-Clemons are putting in some serious work this year.
- Cole Hikitini continues to redeem himself after the Syracuse game.
- I know Lamar is receiving most of the attention but we have to shine some light on Brandon Radcliff who is having a great senior year. He has gained over 100 yards in 3 of the 4 games the Cards have played. Will be nice if he can continue that streak against Clemson this weekend.
- Speaking of big years, James Quick needs some love too. He is proving himself as a deep threat along with Staples. Also, Jaylen Smith is quietly having a big year as well.
- I really love pissed off Bobby Petrino. We can shake hands after the game, but for the next 60 minutes we are gonna work you like a full time job.
- Not sure why Jeremy Smith has so many issues with holding on to the ball. I do see that he holds it low and away from the body. Kolby Smith is going to blow a gasket if that continues.
- I am convinced the parents of Marshall players were the ones advocating that ALL kids get awards on Field Day. I have never seen a team down by 30+ points celebrate on the sidelines as much as they did. Congrats, you scored against our 2nd and 3rd string players. Here is your participation award, now go have a Popsicle and wait for your mom to pick you up.
- Apparently the 2nd team offense pissed Bobby off because he put the 1st team back in. I am all for kicking ass on the field but that was a weird decision. We all held our breath each time a play was run. I prefer Bobby just get out of there with a win and not risk injury.
- Back to Aaron Taylor for a minute. He attended Notre Dame and actually was part of a Superbowl team while in the NFL. Both of those achievements does not qualify you to be a color commentator. Maybe he is pissed the Notre Lame is 1-3, or maybe he is pissed we beat them in 2014 with a guy who is now our starting WR.
- They refs from the game on Saturday were C-USA refs. I really shouldn’t have to explain why the game went the way it did. If you need an explanation ask any Card fan, clear your schedule first.
- I just wish I can see Marshall’s defensive coordinator as he watched his defense get lit up. He prepped all week to stop Jackson on the ground……what did you learn??
- Lamar gave himself an F grade. Though he had a shaky start, I still want to see what he feels is an A performance.
- No one tweets that Train Horn like @MasterDroo
- Killer Mike has been endorsing Louisville Football and I am just now seeing this?? I need new friends. Special thanks to TBG for educating me………also that was not him that you thought you saw getting gas at Speedway.
- I really wanted 60 on Saturday but 4-0 sounds way better.
- Not a day goes by that I don’t thank the Big 12 for passing on us. It’s almost like the cute girl in high school who chooses your rival over you. You are devestated at first but then a few years later you marry a swimsuit model and find out your house is on a oil field and worth millions. Then you run into that cute girl and your rival at Kroger and notice she has gained weight and he is now busing tables at Logan’s Steakhouse while being yelled at by at 18 year old hostess. I digress……
And in closing, the BHK is taking the courtroom on the road next week as he and the Bucket Hat Queen make our first trip to Death Valley to play Clemson. From what I understand, a good majority of us will be in the same section. The BHK wishes safe travels to everyone and also pace yourself, gonna be a long day until kickoff. The Clemson faithful have instructed me to leave my hotel at noon because traffic is going to be insane. I was also informed by the good folks at @RubbingtheRock to check out the Esso Club and Smokin’ Pig on Friday if possible due to the large crowds expected on Saturday. I will also be reuniting with a great friend of mine who I have not seen in years and I still have a soft spot in my heart for……….yes, I will be at Bojangles………don’t @ me………
Court adjourned (bangs gavel)