“ALL RISE!!! Court is now in session. The honorable Bucket Hat King LJ tha Fiasco presiding. Please be seated and come to order”
Please be seated. As I try to gather my Cardinal mind after witnessing the phenom which is Lamar Jackson, let me read the court some notes of what I observed from last night’s game:
- I learned that CardMarch is getting bigger and better. I remember a certain coach discussed getting rid of it due to low turnout.
- I observed that one player was carrying a black baseball bat. Need to have that explained at some point this year.
- The $2 beers sold outside of the South entrance are as cold as advertised.
- JB’s Pub is a nice go to spot if you just want to grab a beer or food before the game and don’t want to wait long.
- Denny Crum overpass still claims victims. (hit the gym in the off-season)
- Youuuuuu probably shouldn’t wear UK gear and ask people to park on your property. Furthermore you shouldn’t wear suspenders and UK gear while asking UofL fans to park on your property. Matter of fact you shouldn’t look like the lead singer of Blue Oyster Cult, wear suspenders, and sport UK gear and expect Card fans to trust you let alone park on your property. Here’s looking at you guy parking cars behind Planet Fitness near Kroger.
- Don’t sit next to me and announce that you are a UK fan but you enjoy football. No UK fan enjoys football in the month of September. You sir are a liar….
- Soooo, you’re just gonna tuck your jersey into your jean shorts and expect the BHK to not speak out about it? Hohohoooookay.
- Kudos to the lady in my section who made sure we all heard her sing the National Anthem. We get it, you have an opera voice. None of us are talent scouts, we can’t sign you to a deal. Now if you want our opinion on bourbon then…….
- That Boy’s Good does not look like Lou Diamond Phillips. For the last time, that wasn’t him that you thought you saw folks.
- The Van Halen “Right Now” 3rd down music HAS TO DIE A MUCH NEEDED DEATH!!! Play anything, hell play the theme song from Mr. Belvedere, just retire that song.
- Kroger Crew was not happy with my first CSZ post, they took their talents to the 200’s last night. Brave souls, pretty sure section 203 was rowdy.
- Bobby Petrino cares not for your feelings.
- Bobby Petrino wants all of your points. If he could have those 14 we loaned Charlotte back, trust me he would take them.
- Kevin Olsen blames his fumbles on his teammates. He also has never heard of grooming.
- Charlotte fans cheer despite the 60 point hole they were in at one point.
- I don’t want to go to Marshall game @, stop asking me.
- Just because you prefer to mix Brut, Stetson, and Old Spice together doesn’t mean you should. Guy in our section announced his presence from the Green Lot.
- Been hours and people are still asking who Ethan Horton is.
- Seth Dawkins is gonna be a beast, no redshirt for him.
- Really wanted to see more of Devante Peete, Emonee Spence, and Jeremy Smith. But overall happy everyone got into the act.
- I see several of you made feeble attempts at wearing bucket hats last night. I wasn’t amused, one guy’s hat didn’t even fit. Your toddler bucket hat was frowned upon sir.
In closing I would like to thank the good folks at CSZ for giving me the platform to rant about the kind of things that you read above. I plan on testing the limits until they realize their mistake or my laptop gets confiscated.
Court adjourned (Bangs Gavel)