BucketHatology: Purdue


The BHK has decided to help fund his wedding by teaching classes at an unnamed and un-accredited University here in Louisville.  I would tell you the University and location but I am no snitch, unlike graduates from IU.  So after some of the basketball games I will be providing lecture notes and taking shots at Tom Crean because I can and he is too busy smooching his son to read this anyway.

For those of you who have been in the BHK’s courtroom for BucketHatism, you are already familiar with how this course will go.  Yes I will take shots, no your feelings won’t be considered, yes profanity will be used often, and no I will not take off my bucket hat at any point during this course.  I will have a teacher’s assistant for each class and I would ask that you bug them with your questions and not me. I am only doing this to fund my wedding as I have said before, all I can provide for you is coupons to Logan’s Roadhouse and a half bottle of Pepto after.

Anyways, let’s get started. Today my T.A. is none other than @lvilleshawn who had a pretty sweet afro at one time but then he got mistaken for Bob Ross so he cut it off.  Ask him about it for extra credit:

  • Last night’s game was a nice bounce back from the Baylor meltdown. Team looked rested and great on defense.  I was most impressed with how well Ray Spalding played in the early going.   I said it last year and will continue saying it, we got a steal in Ray.  He will play huge dividends here. He offensive game is coming along as well as his defense. If he adds more muscle he will be a force soon.  Plus it will give me more opportunities to say  Spaldin’ Ballin’.


  • Mangok played extremely well last night, but I give a lot of props to Anas MyDude, YoDude, OurDude, DATDUDE!  He is still learning the system and getting better offensively but his defense is becoming great.  He either blocks or disturbs a shooter going to the basket. Needs to stay out of foul trouble but I think he will be starting by the end of December.  I just think Mangok plays better coming off the bench.


  • Good to see Deng Adel playing better. Look, I get that most of our fanbase wants more VJ which I understand. I want VJ on the floor more to help but I guess we have to be patient.  Deng Adel hit some key shots last night but he has to cut down on turnovers.
  • Can we just have Dan Shulman and Jay Bilas call the games for the rest of the year. Jay Bilas is the best analyst out there, besides Gus Johnson I would take him any day. Plus he single handily hung our 1986 Championship Banner for us by getting dog walked by Pervis the entire game.


  • It was brought to my attention the student section at the YUM sucks. I have never really paid attention to it because I am too busy watching the game.  From what I see the student section fills in late or not at all and then most of the time they are texting or taking selfies which is typical college kid behavior.  Personally, I think it’s a step up from the student section at Freedom Hall which was basically a few members of the Red C and some drunk frat guys.  Anyways, I tend to tune out people when at games because for one I didn’t pay my money to socialize and ignore the game on the court and for two if I want to focus on people in the crowd I would have been a cameraman or photographer. I think the corporate sponsorships kill the environment at games whether football or basketball but hey, you gotta pay bills. It’s really hard to get the crowd involved when you have the Larry Thompson Colonoscopy half court shot and the Mary Williams breast augmentation free throw contest at each timeout.  I think we can have a crazy environment but the students have to come together to do it. I graduated in 2004, I would do it but my old ass can’t be seen with no shirt and a painted Cardinal on my stomach. You don’t want that trust me.  Give it time, it will get better.


  • I think the atmosphere at the YUM can be a lot better if people would focus more on cheering the team and less on if the bar is about to close.  The YUM could be one of the most intimidating venues in college basketball and not just for UK and Duke.  Cheer your ass off when you get a chance too, not just when its a prime time game.


  • Speaking of fans in November.  Not sure what his name is, I think it was Troy, either way dude f*** you.  This guy calls in to Mark Ennis’ show last night and just completely rips Louisville basketball and the fans who have high expectations. I ripped some a** during football season, I guess I gotta do more during b-ball too. We beat a top 15 team from a Power 5 conference which looks great at the end of the year when the committee is looking at seeding. Instead Troy, or Tool as I call him wants to harp on the fact we can’t score some other bull****.  You know what else I hate, when people say basketball is all about putting the ball in the basket.  NOOOOOO. REALLY?? I thought it was all about running up and down the court for 40 min and watching coaches slap guys on the a** for no apparent reason. Troy, Tool, whatever your name is, I hope your prepaid minutes on your Cricket phone run out before our next game.  I never understand why we have fans who judge the team in November.  Judge them in February d*ckhead when games and quality wins really matter.  Can’t believe this guy had the BHK calling into the post game show on 93.9 to correct him at 10pm at night after working a 12hr shift but I digress.


  • Louisville basketball players needs to really stop throwing the lob pass until things cool off a bit. Peyton Siva and Chris Jones threw the best lobs ever.  Donovan Mitchell and Snider not so much. In time they will get the timing but right now lets just stick to layups.


  • Our transition game has to be better. Too many times we will have a 3 on 1 break and end up with nothing.  It will progress as the season goes, I have faith we will be a dominant team by March.


  • Mangok’s offense basically is throw the ball up and hope to God it goes in. We know it as “hold my beer and watch this”.


  • Ryan McMahon will now and forever be known to me as Ryan McDamn. All he does is hit big shots, make big steals, and slide in your girl’s DM’s.  The Bucket Hat Queen has been told to deactivate her account. Can’t take any chances with this guy.


  • Whatever happened to that one fan who would wave a refs jersey after a bad call? I really miss seeing him at the games.  I really feel like the Freedom Hall gems were left behind. Anyone know how to contact Sadat?? I need a handstand at my wedding.


  • Speaking of fans, shout out to my boy Gary the Redbird who got crowned as the greatest fan. I still owe him a fade after running up on me at JB’s without his body paint and wig on.  Head on a swivel fam…..


  • The refs in last night’s game sucked, plain and simple. You are taught to officiate in your area right? Then why the hell is the ref making calls on plays under the basket making said calls from half-court??  This happened 3 times last night. Especially on a block in the second half where it was a clean as a bleached white shirt. Ref standing right there called it clean, jackass at half-court comes in and calls a foul. No your place bruh.


  • I don’t care what anyone says, you cannot convince me that Caleb Swanigan is not Derrick Caracter and KRS-One reincarnated.  Dudes looks exactly like Caracter and KRS-ONE.  I guess the bridge really is over……….sorry, I had to.


  • Good to see Tony Hicks getting some clock last night. He may not have the impact of a Damion Lee this year but he can provide valuable minutes in conference play.


  • If Rick doesn’t coach in a pair of Yeezy’s this year then this season is a bust.


  • I love our defense, it is not on par with the 2013 defense but it has the potential to be great. The 2013 team had Siva and Russ dogging guys up the court.  Q and Mitchell may not have the same speed, but they will get better this year.


  • I am not a fan of our second half focus. We are a young team and it shows in the second half. It will get corrected I am sure but as of right now we are all holding our breath hoping there is not another Baylor meltdown this season.


  • I was watching from home but I am hearing the Purdue fans were acting like giant douches the entire game.  I am going to give them a pass. Your football team sucks and still has not hired a coach to replace Darrell Hazel who basically skull-f*cked your program back 30 years.  You’re located in West Lafayette, Indiana which sounds as bad as it is. Your mascot is basically the Frisch’s Big Boy model with a hard hat and a sledgehammer who runs around stalking and scaring the sh*t out of small children. Your coach Matt Painter looks like he is a former corrections officer. You are the 4th best team in the state behind IU, Notre Lame, and Butler. And you have KRS-ONE and Ivan Drago in your frontcourt.  I get why you would be upset.


  • We gotta get more minutes for Matz. He is not going to light scoreboard up but he is a huge body we could use in the paint to bother shots and get rebounds.

And in closing while I am still bitter about the events of last weekend, the days are getting better. I am still taking shots at Ben Boulware who lost his chokehold on the Defensive POTY award which was obviously not a tight as the one he had on Lamar but I digress.  Even though last weekend was sh*tty, it is nice to know Clemson fans are still butthurt about all things Louisville.  The best things in life really are free.

Class dismissed.


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